"This is the Way; Walk in it"

A verse in church today made me think: "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.'" ~ Isaiah 30:21

My Thoughts:

~ Listen to your gut, to those quiet nudges and feelings. I believe that for the child of God who is seeking God's way in their life, those quiet nudges and feelings are often the voice of God.

~ May confidence fill you as you trust that God "opens doors no one can lock [not even our own selves], locking doors that no one can open." (Revelations 3:7) Be confident about the way you walk, the pathways you choose to follow, and the open doors you decide to walk through. Those doors are open because God opened them. And the door we try to "open" where the timing feels off or everything attempted feels off--the doorway that is characterized by effort and then resulting frustration--that door may likely be closed. Try not to waste too much of your time and life waiting for God's answer as to which doorway to enter. As you walk, he will make it known which door is open and which is closed.

Trust in God's guidance for you this week. Be confident in that knowledge and walk with awareness (and a radio frequency tuned to God) toward where your heart is nudging you to go!

"I see what you've done. Now see what I've done. I've opened a door before you that no one can slam shut. You don't have much strength, I know that; you used what you had to keep my Word. You didn't deny me when times were rough. Because you kept my word in passionate patience, I'll keep you safe in the time of testing that will be here soon...I'll make each conqueror a pillar in the sanctuary of my God, a permanent position of honor." ~ Revelations 3:8-12

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"Finding Your Gift": part 3

This final part of the article focuses on how to find your passion and your values. The life coach explains that what we were interested in at a young age often reveals our passion(s). For instance, for me, I would often be found teaching my stuffed animals. When I became a teenager, I began to teach kids at church. At around that same time, I would also love to acquire knowledge and to research. I would study natural healing and ways to reduce physical suffering in the world or solve problems. (This sounds like a big deal now that I write this but I never really thought of it that way! it was just normal.) Even as I got older, the thought of researching for a company was definitely something that thrilled me. I also loved music. However, teaching was a gift others saw most visibly in me--so I ended up pursuing an education degree. In college I also pursued a music minor for a while, as others saw a gift in me there as well. Eventually I switched minors because theory was hard to understand and learning it killed the purpose of music for me, which was to just feel it, to let it seep out of me--no rules, no boundaries.

Today I still love to research and do that as a way to help others. I've been able to use my study of the brain, learning disabilities, and natural healing to help mothers of the students I tutor discover what learning issues their child has and offer them natural approaches (diet changes, supplements, etc.) to help their disabilities. This is very fulfilling to me as I get to do three things I love--teach, acquire knowledge and help. Besides doing these three things I love, I also am able to pursue my love of music by songwriting and teaching lessons. I can teach the lessons exactly as I want--with theory added only as it becomes relevant. I am a feeler. I even speak in that language. I often use words that paint a certain picture for me but that aren't textbook definitions. I will also speak in pictures. (My husband speaks a literal textbook definition language so it's hard for us to communicate sometimes.) Anyway, my point is that music allows me to speak my language easily, freely, and fully. Just start delving into what you are interested in--what you love or have loved in the past. If this is hard to do because you work all the time and have little free time or energy when you do, then try as hard as you can to somehow make it a possible to explore more. Maybe get a different job that allows more free time or something. Finding your gifts and passions are just too important to ignore!

The life coach in this story, goes on to explain to his client how she can find what she really values. He suggests that she think of someone who has left a deep impression on her. I think that's a great idea! That has helped me in the past as well. I acquired a friend while living in Korea whose personality I really loved--like she excited me by who she was! As I pondered why, I realized that I really valued the authenticity, the honesty that I saw in her. How would that play into finding my gift or doing what I love? Well it just helped me to know what jobs I would NOT do well with. Like I hate jobs where I have to be socially polite, where I don't get to the depth of issues, where I have to strike up fluffy conversation about nothingness, for a job that I don't care about. So being a waitress or working at Hallmark or some fluffy kind of shop like that, was like someone rubbing me with sandpaper. We hate certain jobs for a reason!

Ok enough of my blabber and on with the article!

Recognizing Your Passion

"Often we can find our passion by recalling our earliest interests, what we were naturally drawn to. 'What did you want to be when you grew up?' the coach asked Susan.

She grew quiet for a bit. 'When I was a little girl', she finally answered, 'I remember reading every book I could find on wildlife. I used to say I was going to be a veterinarian when I grew up. I was crazy about animals, but I didn't love the thought of operating on them. So maybe I didn't really want to be a vet. But I did love watching spiders build webs on our back porch. Or birds take off in flight. I loved the outdoors. I loved hiking. Still do. But you know, as I'm sitting here thinking about it with you, I guess it's not just about the nature. I love watching people too. It's part of what I adore about being in the city on my lunch hour—just watching people and how they interact.'

'I guess it's trying to understand what exactly is going on. Trying to figure out what they're doing and where they're going, trying to predict how they'll act if a certain circumstance is presented.' Susan was identifying a passion for learning that carried over to a joy in traveling and reading about animals, people and various cultures. She enjoyed sharing her knowledge with others, drawing her daughter and close friends into her interests. If Susan's work was to be aligned with who she really was, learning would have to be a central focus. But her passion for learning was just a single part of the three-part equation. For Susan to unwrap her gift, she would need to discover her values and strengths as well."

 Knowing Your Values

"'Is there anyone you've studied about or met who has left a deep impression on you?' the coach asked Susan.

'I know it sounds odd, but I would have to say Gandhi. Not for the reasons that you might think, though, like his belief in nonviolence. It's because he understood who he was and stood up for himself and what he cared about. You couldn't push him around. Deep down, where it mattered, he stood his ground. He said what was true, without any pretense, no matter what the consequences. He was from the spirit, from the soul. He was authentic.'

'And authenticity is what you value?' the coach asked.

'Well, of course,' Susan responded with conviction. 'If you can't be who you really are, then you're just pretending to live your life. You have to be able to honestly express what you believe—in your words and actions. Gandhi knew this. He was the genuine article.'

Just as Michelangelo saw David within the stone, your unique gift is inside you, waiting to be revealed."

http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Finding-Your-Gift/5

"Finding Your Gift": part 2

Susan Finds Her Gift

"Like the damaged stone from which Michelangelo's David was carved, Susan beheld what she considered to be her ruined life and the empty years that lay ahead of her. For the past 16 years, she had been a hard-working single mother, juggling a demanding career and taking care of her daughter without any help from the child's chronically absent father. To make her life more challenging, Susan was ambitious for herself and her daughter, and over the years pushed herself to keep more and more balls in the air. Every year, she would take on more work, more community service, more professional development classes, while tutoring her daughter at home after work and making sure she knew what was going on at school. Susan was a master juggler, but her busy schedule took a toll.

Susan worked as a legal assistant for a major law firm. Her daughter, "the flower from my compost heap of a marriage" as she put it, had recently left for college on an academic scholarship. With her daughter launched, Susan was left to consider her own path. She looked down at the ground below her. "Dull cement," she said, "and my feet were planted in it long before I had a chance to choose."

Susan wanted a change. She was dying for a change. But to what? She had no idea. And wasn't it too late already? After all, she was nearly 42. Susan couldn't think constructively. She believed that she had no choices. Here was a bright, articulate, capable woman who, in her own mind, could never do anything right and believed she had missed her chance anyway. Susan thought her life nothing more than a giant "might have been." If she hadn't married so young, she might have had a relationship she was happy with. If she hadn't gotten pregnant, she might have finished law school. If she had finished law school, she could have been the lawyer and not the legal assistant. Susan couldn't figure out where to begin. Her early enchantment with the law had faded. She wanted a new life, and her greatest fear was, to paraphrase Oliver Wendell Holmes, that she might die with her music still in her. For Susan, it was time to start playing her own music.

Working with a life coach, Susan asked, "How do I find out what exactly to do? Can you tell me?"

"You have to find it within yourself," the coach said. "But I can start by asking you a few questions that will begin to reveal your gift."

"But I don't have a particular gift. I'm not gifted."

If you were to ask someone what their gift is, chances are their minds will immediately turn to Michelangelo sculpting his Pietà or Einstein unlocking the universe's secrets with a simple equation. People tend to think of gifts in such extraordinary terms. They see a gift as an innate, exceptional talent, as something that few people in this life are born with. But they are wrong.

A gift isn't just the province of the exceptionally talented, the successful, or the blessed. Quite the contrary, everyone has a gift. Some gifts are thousand-watt bolts of light. Others are hidden in the stone. All are there, waiting to be revealed.

Your gift lies in the place where your values, passions, and strengths meet. Discovering that place is the first step toward sculpting your masterpiece, your life."

 http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Finding-Your-Gift/2

"Finding Your Gift"

I found this article on Oprah's website. She talks about looking at the potential of a piece of stone that could be turned into a sculpture. Sometimes the stone seems unusable, but sometimes that just means that there are certain things connected to you that aren't you--that need to be "chiseled" away. For instance, for a while I thought that I was not gifted with teaching even though I was told I was and even went to school for a degree in education. When I entered a new teaching situation, it seemed like kids would love me and learn from me, but then lose interest after about 2 weeks. I thought it was a just that I didn't know how to be a good teacher--that I wasn't a good teacher. But later I discovered that my fears and insecurities were influencing these doubts. I realized that I actually am a good teacher. I just needed to clear away the fears and insecurities in order to accurately evaluate if I really was gifted in this way. I get cards from my students, gifts, and the privilege of hearing one of them tell me weekly that they want to be my daughter and live with me. I have learned how to keep them engaged and learning as well. So sometimes we need to evaluate what is really us and what is simply attached to us. Work on distinguishing between those two and "chiseling" away what is not you. Sometimes you may be gifted in a certain area, but it just needs tweaking :) That has happened to me several times. This article will be split into a several day series. I found that the thoughts on discovering our gifts by authors Ken Schuman and Ron Paxton were very thought-provoking, yet simple to understand. Enjoy!

"What does one of history's greatest artists have in common with people today who want to change their lives? In the following excerpt from The Michelangelo Method, the authors take Michelangelo as a model for looking within, overcoming obstacles, and sculpting a more creative, authentic life.

There is little doubt that Michelangelo was one of history's greatest sculptors, a man who could transform a solid block of marble into lifelike form that married classical proportion and technique with a passionate expressionism that had never been seen before in sculpture. But even considering his genius, how could Michelangelo carve the David from a giant block of stone that was so damaged that his contemporaries considered it "ruined" and "a thing of no value"?

The answer is simple. Michelangelo looked at the block and saw his David locked inside. Michelangelo held an important belief about the art of sculpture. He believed that in each block of stone there was a figure hidden inside, waiting to be revealed. To Michelangelo, the master sculptor's job was to clear away what was not the image and reveal the masterpiece inside the stone.

In addition, Michelangelo's chief value—what he cared about most—was to glorify God. He believed that man was created in God's image and that in rendering God's highest creation as perfectly as possible, he was glorifying God. For Michelangelo's creativity to be released, it had to be aligned with this deeply held value.

This amazing principle applies to all of us. To find your masterpiece, the life you were meant to live, you must look inside. It's there, waiting for you to clear away all that is not you—the fears, beliefs, and wishes that others have imposed on you, the negative stories you tell about yourself, the defeatist attitude toward overcoming obstacles to your vision."

http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Finding-Your-Gift/1

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Love and Accept Who You Are

"Love and accept who you are, not who you will be or should be."

For some Christians, I have noticed that loving and accepting who we are seems too much of a New Age concept. Some would propose that loving God and sort of ignoring the self, is the best way to achieve a God-like life. This is what I used to think.

I think that it may do a lot of good to think about ourselves in a different way. God created us. We are specially designed. We are GOD'S workmanship. I don't think it's an evil pride to value that--to take care of that and treasure that. Many of us women readily do that for others, but do we do that for ourselves? Are we less of God's creation than our neighbor?

Being fully in the present and being content with whatever is there is critical for peace and joy. Rid yourself of guilt for whatever you see that you don't like! That guilt serves no purpose and certainly does a bad job of motivating. I've tried to wear a lot of different shoes in my lifetime--none of which were my own, until now. My light was never bright then. It was dingy and blocked. If we live someone else's gifts and strengths, then it just won't work. What I read today has some good thoughts on this matter:

"Love and accept who you are, not who you will be or should be. If you love yourself for who you are, you are living in present time which is the gateway to personal power [I personally prefer to replace "power" with "light".] If you love only who you will be, then you are out of your body, living in a future you cannot affect (until it becomes present time and you can act). Look at who you are, compare it to who you want to be, and ask yourself why they do not match. Ask, 'Is what I want to be really appropriate to who I am, or is it something I was told I should be?' The more you can clear yourself of other people's programs, expectations, and pictures of you, the more [bright] you will become. Many of those future pictures involve meeting unrealistic or inappropriate standards given to you by others. Many of those ideals represent beliefs of others that you try to fit onto yourself. Look clearly at your expectations of yourself, especially those you constantly fail to meet. They can be indicators of areas in which who you want to be is not fitting with your true needs. The pain you feel at the difference, the feelings of heaviness, fear or darkness only exist because you are trying to 'wear' energy that does not belong to you."

If you read my previous article titled, Our Unique Path is Not Always Understood, then you will remember me mentioning the years of my life trying to get rid of my God-given stubbornness and strong will. I thought that was what was expected of a selfless Christian. It was heavy, confusing, and frustrating. But then I met someone who would later become one of my closest friends. She was stubborn too. Her life showed me how I could use my stubbornness for good. Her life told me that I was ok. Now I feel like a burden has been lifted, and continues to be lifted the more I recognize who I was created to be and live that fully. The biggest characteristic that I see from my two friends who are living who they are fully is that they are "bright lights." I can't explain it any differently than that.

Take a good look at who you are. Then figure out how to work with what you have--figure out your potential! We were created in God's image. Live your unique God-likeness fully and be a light!

"Be as much of yourself as you can, as often as you can." ~ Hilary and Ellen ~ I think this is what it means to not hide your light under a bushel. 

More Than Just One of Millions

"Clay doesn't talk back to the fingers that mold it, saying, "Why did you shape me like this?" Isn't it obvious that a potter has a perfect right to shape one lump of clay into a vase for holding flowers and another into a pot for cooking beans? If God needs one style of pottery especially designed to show his angry displeasure and another style carefully crafted to show his glorious goodness, isn't that all right? ...  If each grain of sand on the seashore were numbered and the sum labeled 'chosen of God,' they'd be numbers still, not names; salvation comes by personal selection. God doesn't count us; he calls us by name. Arithmetic is not his focus."   ~ Romans 9:21-33

(FYI: Articles from guest writers will be up sometime this week or next Monday.)

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Our Unique Path is Not Always Understood

Although this blog is not a Christian blog per-se, since Christianity is largely responsible for the worldview that I grew up with and since many of you are Christians, I will be referring to Christianity at times. Here is is a little about my struggles growing up as a Christian and feeling like I don't fit.

In the past, I have become quite frustrated with Christians who would want to make me fit into their box. It reminded me of that child's activity where for example, you have to put the circle into it's matching circle hole. Only, I felt like a rectangle trying to fit. I would wonder if these people really believed that God's ways are not always our ways or that God works with each person differently. Let me explain.

I grew up one of the most passionate Christians you will ever meet. My Bible was marked and worn from daily study and I was often out with churches and organizations sharing gospel literature. I wouldn't be surprised if my classmates remember me as being a conservative Christian loudmouth, since I was also very vocal! Although annoying to some, I was at least sincere. I loved God and spent many private prayer sessions in tears. However, there came a point in my life, where it seemed like God decided to take me away from black and white truths and into the world of grey.

I slowly began to realize that after reading my Bible and praying, I would act grumpy and mean toward my family. It seemed like for all the reading and praying I did, it wasn't helping me to be holy. My head knew that reading my Bible didn't make me holy, but my feelings didn't. I would keep thinking I was ok because I spent "time with God." So in order to live in love, to live in holiness, I decided it would be best to put my Bible on the shelf for a time. This time ended up being several years long. However, it was one of the best things I could've done. I really did grow in love and kindness, understanding more of what a holy Christ-filled life is all about. My parents and even less conservative Christians were shocked. They tried to make me see the error of my ways. Everywhere I turned, I seemed to have a hard time finding anyone who understood. So I ended up feeling alone, frustrated, anxious, depressed, and terribly confused! I felt so strongly that I was doing what I needed to do--what God wanted me to do. But my religious superiors all disagreed.

My life started taking more unconventional turns. Church would continually frustrate me. Perhaps it was something the preacher said that sounded ignorant or perhaps it was the emotional manipulation I would often find or the lack of substance in sermons or the guilt-based methods for developing devout Christians. It was hard for me to see good intentions or any benefit for going to church since I would always leave frustrated and angry that things weren't how they should be. I thought, "This is only upsetting my life and causing me to think divisively. And I don't know how to stop it." So, I stopped attending church so much. This decision also proved to be good for me because I realized during this time that there were religious methods I grew up with (such as guilt-based encouragement and self-deprication) that were causing my emotional reactions at church. I needed time away to heal from that. Yet, here again, I was reproved and misunderstood. As an aside, I can understand why others were concerned but I know that for myself, in the future I will have more trust in God's unique path regarding each individual.

Lastly, one of my biggest unconventional turns was doing whatever I wanted. I would say that for most Christians--liberal or conservative--this would send up a red flag. And I wouldn't suggest this for everyone. But for me, someone who tried too hard in a way to please God, yet was struggling with guilt and being absorbed by the anxiety of questioning if everything I did was right, this was one of the best things that I ever did. One of my most common phrases was "I should do" instead of "I want to." I felt obligated to do everything I did. And over time, I ended up losing any desire to "want to." I felt guilty for that, as well as the fact that I felt so messed up--living how I thought God wanted me to and yet allowing others' voices to cause doubt. I felt vulnerable and unsure for not going the way that everyone said was truth so I started feeling like Satan was following me and messing with my head. It was quite honestly, torture.

Finally a friend suggested that I just stop caring so much about if I was doing what I should and just do whatever I want. At first I thought, no I can't do that. It's "dangerous" and wrong. But the more I thought about it, the more I saw the benefits it could have for me. So that's exactly what I decided to do--whatever I wanted. I stopped forcing things. If I wasn't sure about a particular belief, then I didn't make myself believe it anyway. If I didn't want to do a certain thing, then I didn't. I let everything flow naturally. Little did I know that I had a grieving and healing process to go through. It was essential that I allowed that, as hindsight attests.

My decision to do what I wanted happened at a time when I was wrestling with God and taking a good look at the baggage leftover from my past. Fortunately my heap of guilt slowly wore away. And because I had maintained a strong desire to love God with my life, I still kept a conscience. After times when I acted selfishly, I realized that I didn't LIKE being such a way and instead of beating myself up with guilt, I just decided that next time I WANTED to be giving instead. I realized that though I was doing whatever I wanted, it didn't only include selfishness (which is where I thought this method would take me). In fact, I didn't want to be selfish at all. I eventually discovered that what I wanted was to love others with my life. But it wasn't mixed with obligation like my past desire to love others was--it was purely from the heart.

You are probably wondering where I am at now. Generally speaking, I am much healthier. I actually enjoy going to church, well my church. :) And I can usually float above any frustrations there. Also, I am able to focus more on what is good since my emotions aren't getting as much in the way. As far as reading Scripture, I now find more benefit in reading the Scripture since my perspective has been changing. I also enjoy it much more. Finally, doing what I want has ended up helping me regain my past desire for helping and healing others.

The benefits of following my own unique path are numerous. I will just list a few. First, I became ok with my extreme stubbornness and strong-willed temperament, qualities that always seemed like a bad thing in Christian circles. I have learned more of how to use these characteristics for good instead of trying to make them go away. I have become more ok with who I am, realizing that the way I am and the way my mind works were both created by God. And that I should trust my instincts more, as well as God, who has promised that no man, not even my own self, can "pluck [me] out of His hands." Oddly, I find real comfort in Hosea, who was told by God to marry a prostitute. How unconventional! How shocking to those of his day!

I say all this not to bash anyone who encouraged me to do what was conventional--because their advice can be good for many people and times. And I say all this not to encourage anyone to follow my path either. But the reason why I wanted to share this is to give encouragement to any of you who feel like you have to live in secret because you are doing what you feel is right for the person God made YOU to be. Trust your gut. I think that when we love God, our gut instinct is very often God's voice. Don't let anyone tell you what is right for you to do. Consider it, but don't let it control your decisions. I did this, and it is the one thing I regret. If I would've followed my gut on each matter, then I would've arrived where I am now a lot quicker and with less baggage and anxiety to work through. Here's something even more poignant to consider. Had Hosea listened to the religious authorities of his day, he likely would've ended up being disobedient to God in this matter of marriage. So in conclusion, take a good look at who you were created to be, what you need to do based on that, and have faith that even if you make mistakes in your decision-making process, what belongs to God, will always be His.

~ "Preserve my life, for I am godly and dedicated; O my God, save Your servant, for I trust in You [leaning and believing on You, committing all and confidently looking to You, without fear or doubt]." Psalm 86: 2

~ "Do all things without...doubting." Philippians 2:14

~ "Who are you to judge someone else’s servants? They stand or fall before their own Lord (and they will stand, because the Lord has the power to make them stand). One person considers some days to be more sacred than others, while another person considers all days to be the same. Each person must have their own convictions. Someone who thinks that a day is sacred, thinks that way for the Lord. Those who eat, eat for the Lord, because they thank God. And those who don’t eat, don’t eat for the Lord, and they thank the Lord too" Romans 14:4-6 

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